15 September 2011

Aah!! I miss it!! but,

Hi!! In a month ago's post I had written, things have changed. I meant, I am going to have to leave aarambh. About aarambh (www.aarambhiitkgp.com). There were few reasons... the main not being acedemic one...yeah! But, there was this academic reason too - I wanted to take two additionals and wanted to do a project. This was the open reason. The second one was, which is now easy to tell, I needed a serious change in my lifestyle in kgp!! And I had to take efforts in that. I was adjusted in kgp in a very weird way.... I wanted to be more comfortable in this place to work more efficiently. I had to invest time into that and so, I needed time for myself....dunno if I am able to tell it properly or not...whatever... So, the thing is today I miss it!
I have missed aarambh quite a few days since I left it. But today, one of the members came to me to collect JGW money (it is one of the campaigns... for details visit aarambh site.) and i felt so bad..ouch! Last year, I had done that for our hall. I do have a sense of belonging towards aarambh but, i had no option at that time. I had given a good amount of thought into that decision. I do not regret leaving it at that time and i don't know if i feel like joining it back which is not feasible given current conditions i guess..... but yea, I think I left it in wrong way. I had option to continue by working less than other people but I knew that would not help me. I needed the complete freedom to do whenever and whatever i wanted. Now, that half the semester is done, I am done with my adjusting thing. One of it was writing!! I write on blog without caring who all or none would read it...i don't care. It's just to let my thoughts flow outside and they might happen to help someone someday in any damn little way. I don't share (I mean most of the times) the link anymore!! :D I write for myself! I am really happy at kgp. Making crafty stuff, reading things... its just as I wanted it to be!! I learnt this adjustment stuff from my co-interns at IIT Chennai and it is helping!! I wonder how I failed to see this for two full years!! Thanks!!
Working with aarambh was awesome!! The team was good too. I had tremendous amount of satisfaction in that. It was a new organisation but still I was proud to be a part of something like this. It gave me insight to different ideas people think of and mainly of how one should think of realizing the ideas in their heads! How one can get the other to work or noble cause. How everyone (yes, literally) supports the thing you do although they don't consider doing it themselves. It is very nice to give something back to the society and I owe that opportunity to aarambh. I could do that in my teenage to certain extent!! 
I feel sorry that I had to give it up...but that too was for my good and unfortunately, even thought you don't want to be selfish, there are times when you need to be one and that time, just keep aside the criteria of 'what others think' etc. One thing I learnt from this, may be I could have told them the real 'personal' reason and then had a sort of deal with them... but, I did not find any of them close enough. I will use this in coming things and will have more coordination with co-workers wherever I land up.

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